Slightly demented thoughts of the PinkFish...

aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh humbug
By some strange and unlikey phenomenon, my 2 years in Cambodge has come to an end.
Just 2 more days in Stinky Trong have I, and a further 2 in Pinky Pong.... where oh where has my time here gone?
Now rushed everyday to write reports
Daily 7am breakfasts with my stinky cohorts
Then lunchtime naps with my kitty
There is little time to write this ditty

Oh sad am I to leave this place
I have met many a friendly (and handsome!) face
I will miss the sun and fresh mangoes,
But that, I guess, is how life goes

On to new and exciting things
Who knows what life in chilly England brings?

...........Freshly buttered toast I hope

13^th January 2009

There are times when I just can’t comprehend how the body keeps going. All I want to do is crawl into a hole somewhere, any where, possibly even a hole filled with roaches and mice, just to get some peace and escape from the world at large. To be able to stop thinking. Feeling. Doing. Hibernation is sounding pretty damn appealing right this second. I’m sure there’s a leaky tap in my system at the moment and all of my energy is slowly but surely seeping through it.

            And why are we so damn polite? Is it like an inbuilt self destruct thing? Honest to God, even when I’m feeling like a walking zombie I still feel obliged to attend a party this evening because I was invited. When the invitation came it was all I could do not to look like a deflated balloon; my vision of an early night alone, hot tea, cuddling the cat, eating chocolate and reading a book was viciously popped. Destroyed. Blown up in a squeaky helium ball of flames. Damn it. I reckon you are possibly thinking two thoughts about now; a) that I am sad and about 80 years old wanting an early night with a cat, and b) why not just say no! I can’t say no. Ok, ok yes I could, but it would be extremely rude to turn down an invitation from the organisation I’m working in – very bad in Khmer culture. I have to work here, I’m meant to be building relationships, this is what it’s all about…….but oh, I can literally hear my bed calling me… it’s a warm, soft and very temping voice, promising a comfortable night with sweet dreams….

            The silver lining (for there always is one if you look hard enough) is that Khmer parties rarely last long. I may get an earlyish night after all…

Ok, seriously, I know I like animals but this is getting just a little ridiculous now. I'm attracting animals like flies to a shit heap... Cute fluffy kittens and dogs - great! Frogs and scorpions - ok. Mice, cockroaches and hornets, tolerable. But snakes??? No. NO. NO THANKS! What is Santa trying to tell me when on Christmas Eve I arrive back at my house at lunchtime to find my cat in quiet and puzzled contemplation of a metre long caramel coloured, black striped snake in my living room! Jeez!
Then Doglet flies in like the proverbial bull in the china shop and really upsets it. Urrgh, it's not nice to see a snake slithering about your house and hissing at your beloved pets.
After running full kilter oot the hoose, for about 30 seconds I actually convinced myself I was brave enough to tackle the situation independently. When I got back into the house with a big stick however, reality dawned. Who the hell was I kidding! Tackle a metre long snake alone?? Ha!
So back outside where I cowardly called my Khmer little brother who came to rescue to me from the Big Bad Snake... I say rescue me but in a Faulty Towers comical way. He had never seen the type of snake before either, so we were both unsure as to whether it might be poisonous or not, hence a lot of furniture shuffling and positioning of the big stick ensued before we were confident to start removing the snake. Doglet seemed more hands on (or should that be paws on??) than us, but as I went to carry her off into the relative safety of the bedroom she let her true colours through as she jumped in fright when I touched her.

Safely ensconsed behind a door Hor started to tackle snake, while I gave helpful directions and encouragement from the otherisde of the room....
Unfortunately the snake had no intention of cooperating a proceded to make his way to the back of the fridge to hide. Hor tried to convince me it had escaped down a hole to the outside, but I remained unconvinced as he jumped back a full foot after poking a bag lying there and seeing said snake move. After a bit of more careful prodding, Hor seemed definitely sure it had escaped. I wanted to make doubly sure so we pulled out the fridge to check behind, as I'm tugging away Hor runs away in the other direction crying out "oooohhhh" and I do the same seeing a flash of brown shoot pass my legs.... holy crapola. I look round at Hor who by this point is grinning away. It was the cat. The damn cat, who had also been scared and was lurking under the fridge.
Dear Lord, what a lunchtime!
So enough I say with all the DoLittle animals, Kathys shelter is closed for Christmas, please find other alternative accommodation, snakes, mice, rats and roaches are not welcome at the Inn and I don't care if your name is Jesus.

9^th December 2008

Some highlights of the Cambodia holiday:

a)      Rain, rain, rain! After fervently promising a total lack of rainfall, the second morning of Claire’s visit resulted in an absolute down pour! One second no rain, next second full power-shower. I will never live it down – “you said the rainy season was finished!” Hmmm, yes well...

b)      Doing my (unconscious) level best to get kicked out of every tourist place. Ok, I admit it, I am way to relaxed now, so these weird rules surrounding tourist places kinda fly over my ‘rules radar’; resulting in promising threats to get thrown out and many, many disapproving glances from officials. Oops. But seriously, I got told off for leaving my shoes on the floor instead of on the shelf (directly above!) WHY?? Were they damaging the floor?? And I honestly didn’t see the sign that said no entry, I didn’t realise it was the Kings house! (He could’ve shown a bit of courtesy and offered a cuppa anyways...)

c)       Toul Sleng Genocide Museum). No, not a good highlight. In fact one of the most horrible experiences I’ve had in Cambodia. It’s just unfathomable to me why people are so fascinated with death and torture. Its heart-rending enough for me to know people who have been through the Khmer Rouge, to read books about experiences during that time; why do people want to go and visit one of the places where countless of people were mindlessly and horrifically tortured? Isn’t it possible that by keeping these places as ‘Tourist Attractions’ gives other sick bastards ideas? Isn’t it enough to see torture apparatus, cells and photographs of hundreds of dispirited faces without taking photos of it? Is that really a shot you want in your holiday album? I know the images will be with me for a lifetime without having a photographic record.

d)      “Camera! Camera! Where’s my camera!” Claire’s frantically excited, though somewhat delayed response to seeing Sambo, the Wat Phnom elephant walking down a busy street in Phnom Penh, perfectly at home among the motos, with not a care in the world.

e)      Singing Tree restaurant. The true beginning of Claire’s chill out holiday. Big squashy chairs, soft music, great food. I think we would’ve stayed all night had not a loud bunch of Aussies come in.

f)        IT’S A BALLOOOOOOOON! IT’S A BIG YELLOW BALLOOOOOOON! A kid’s animated squeal at seeing the hot-air balloon at Angkor Wat, causing Claire and me to grin and repeat throughout the holiday like loons.

g)      Oh dear, more rain! Am appalling holiday rep! As we exited Ta Phrom the heavens descended once more, hurling their full wrath upon us. Should we wait, try shelter under a tree or just go for it?? Decisions, decisions. Try as I might, even my powers of belief couldn’t deny that the trees were offering little protection from the deluge; worried about our lovely tuktuk friend we dashed out into the ever growing torrent. Within a minute we were absolutely sodden. To illustrate the rains force, we stopped briefly under a signpost; the water was roughly 50cm away from our feet. In the time it took to put 2 cameras in a back-pack the water was already flowing around our toes - marooned we were! Not content with being wet, we aimed for full on saturation as we walked around searching for Lucky and the tuktuk, ultimately concluding he was entirely more sensible than us and was waiting INSIDE somewhere. I genuinely love these moments; it was invigorating, childish and enormously comical; my cheeks hurt from laughing so much.

h)       Banteay Kdei temple. First time to this temple, but now ranks as my favourite. There before any other tourist the three of us had the place to ourselves, to wander freely in the cool morning air, amongst the mossy stones and spiders webs. Thick tall trees looming overhead, projecting a shady, green atmospheric light. Perfectly tranquil. Like being in an ancient castle alone and having the freedom to explore every nook and cranny to your hearts content. The peace to imagine other civilizations walking the same passageways, holding banquets and dancing to the Gods.

i)         Floating forest. A whole forest under approximately 6-7foot of water, only the highest braches reaching the surface, creating a truly picturesque tree-boat network. Nothing to hear but the rhythmic splash of paddles propelling the boat along and some bird-song - oh and Lucky biding me to “concentrate!” ‘Course, as he instructed me to do so, I turned around to look at him, swiftly getting hit upside the head by the very branch he was kindly informing me to be wary of!

j)         Claire laughing at me because I wore my jeans and hoodie to bed in Rattanakiri; in the morning I asked if she slept well only to get the response it was fecking cold! Uhh-huh! The second night she was doing the same J

k)       Elephant ride. Unfortunately ‘Hatchet Harry’ was the driver, lucky for him he didn’t utilise it too much or he would’ve found himself staring up at the underside of the elephant. Elephant was very ‘rumble-y’, yielding low warning sounds, which vibrated through its body whenever a moto or car appeared.

l)         Social ant experiment... Who would’ve guessed ants could provide so much entertainment? We found an ant colony fervently trying to transport a cicada to their nest. Imagine a round hole and a square object and you will get the idea! I could see an easy way, and hypothesised what the ants would do if I moved the cicada nearer to the ‘round-hole’. Complete chaos ensued!

m)     Claire took enormous step into challenging herself and swam in volcanic lake, too deep to feel the bottom. Respect birdie.

n)       The Khmer dime bar was born! We nearly succeeded in total devastation of my cooking pots in the attempt to make condensed milk sweets... nicely ending up with V tasty dime-bar-esque candy. Well done Claire!

o)      Death-defying travel! It started with missing the ONLY bus ever to leave on time in Cambodia. Literally 3 minutes (ok, maybe 5... or so...) late, we earned ourselves another judgmental stare at the bus station, before hopping on a moto to catch up with the offending bus, to cower into our seats giggling like kids. Arriving safely in Phnom Penh we manage to hire the world’s slowest tuktuk who also didn’t know where he was going. Later on we find ourselves on a hell-for-leather moto, where even I have my eyes squeezed shut to avoid seeing what we are headed into... Oo-er missus!

10km run achieved!!!

Awesome

Amazing

Fun

Stupendous

Pretty easy

Immense team spirit

Just some words I’d use to describe the Angkor International Half Marathon day.  There was ‘team VSO’ in our matching red T-shirts and white caps, most of us doing the 10km race. I guess there was over 2000 people participating in all the races, so the atmosphere was quite exciting. And to run round the ancient Angkor temples was simply remarkable. Before the race Jen asked me if I felt nervous, and I can honestly say not one bit. I was filled to brimming with anticipation, ready to get going and be part of the event. I wasn’t disappointed, I felt electrified at seeing so many people there, crowding the streets around Angkor Wat. Delia joked during training that her reason for going was as a social occasion, and running the 10km, that’s what it felt like. There were so many people to watch and talk to or cheer on en route that I hardly noticed the running. Delightedly Delia and I even managed a joint sprint and whoop at the end!

I enjoyed it so immensely I am contemplating coming back next year to try the half marathon (and Hor has asked you, Mum, to come too!)

On road to Siem Riep, big run on Sunday am at 6.30am. Am feeling quietly confident now, after doing 7.5km last time. Plan is just to keep running, not look at watch and just keep chatting to take mind of pain?!
Will let ya know how I get on, wish me luck xxx

25/11/08

Wow, doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? And slows down when you’re flaming miserable?? That’s Sod’s Law in a bucket.

Have returned from most excellent 3 weeks holiday and now is back to the daily work life. 3 weeks went by, not at the rate of knots – but fairly quickly, whereas yesterday and today seems like several lifetimes… already someone has reported MORE problems with the new project. Friggin’ management!! Just make a god-damned decision! Aaaarrrgggh.

On the positive side it’s now only 12 days until the big 10km run (and only 17 weeks left here!!). On Friday Delia and I ran nearly 6km, this morning we did approximately 7.5km of continuous running! We have decided that the psychological aspect is the hardest barrier now, just knowing how much further we have to keep running. To try and combat this we have changed our route in the morning. It’s really amazing, but this makes such a huge difference. Our previous route I knew so well, and just knowing you still have all that way to run made me feel worse, then I’d give up and walk for a bit. This morning I didn’t know the distance quite so well, so in my mind the distance seemed less – so I ran more (I’m sure there’s a weird kind of logic in there somewhere!)

Have to crack on with the grindstone business now, but will write more about dead chickens, Khmer dimebars, Mr Hammock, full length coloured condoms, elephants, A-C-leeedaa and more exciting tales from the holiday soon…

To be continued….

25/10/08

1 hour to go before another big Stinky Trong cinema extravaganza. Oh yes folks, we know how to live the high life here in the Thong. ‘Tis another opportunity to practice my curry making skills at any rate! True curry dedication is when you’re up and in the market by 7.15am on your day off, just so you can be sure of getting fresh tofu! (I hope there isn’t a mandatory VSO psych test on repatriation….)

All our lovely VSOers in Stinkland will be descending on my place shortly for curry, films on the big screen (thanks to borrowing the projector from the RTC!) and snacks. Who needs TV? I rather like this business of watching flicks on a white sheet!

Though might be looking for a TV on Monday night. It’s round two of workshops at the RTC on Monday and Tuesday; to mark the occasion we are paying for a TV crew to come and take some shots to go on the news! The workshop, if I haven’t explained already, is the first activity of the new project starting at the RTC that supports the strengthening of student nurses and midwives education in the RTC and hospitals. Having it on the news should be good for the RTC as it will increase their visibility in Stung Treng (maybe having an impact on student intakes and teacher recruitment) and might make the Ministry of Health take note of what they are doing.

Me, I think I will be concentrating on staying out of the frame! But I have been told to look/dress beautiful!!

But by far the MOST exciting news is that, at the end of the week, I will be in Phnom Penh and will be on 3 weeks holiday!!! Yeay! Woohoo! And Yippee! I am going to be travelling round Cambodge with a friend from Ireland, hopefully going to Battambong, Kep, Siem Riep, Rattanakiri, Kratie and Stung Treng. There is so much to see here, that even 3 weeks seems so short.

Things I’m going to revel in on return to England:
 Baths – when you just feel awful/stressed and in need of some comfort
 Deserts – apple crumble, scones, clotted cream, cherry pie, mince-pies
 Snuggling up indoors on blustery, rainy, grey days with a great book
 Wearing woolly scarves and hats
 Luxuriating in long fluffy pyjamas and thick socks
 Full English breakfasts – mmm bacon ‘n eggs (and, wow – sausages!)
 Kicking up autumn leaves
 Cherries, Granny Smith apples, peaches and plums
 Unbelievably speedy internet access
 Washing machines
 Easy girl chats with mum and friends
 Opportunities for learning
 Hills, mountains & forests that are mine free and safe for walking through/on

Things I hate to leave behind:
 Fresh mangoes from my garden
 Doglet and Stink
 Hot weather, days filled with sunshine
 Overall friendliness; being called hello to wherever I go – usually by people I don’t know
 Friendly breakfast shop in the market
 Noodles, sumi, ban somn, ban chou, noom-pow and bai-such chhrook (not all at once!)
 2-3 hour lunch breaks
 Relaxed way of life
 Friends here… close-knit team of volunteers – easy socialising
 Inexpensive way of life (£5 per room, 50p breakfast, £1 pair of flop-flips…)
 28 days public holiday per year (+another 20 from VSO)
 Paddy fields, palm trees and awe-inspiring sunsets over the Mekong
 BeerLao

2nd October 2008

Oh dear, no running for 2 weeks now…. Am turning into fat bloater once more! Next week I will start again.
Definitely.
For sure.
If there’s no rain.
Maybe…

Here’s a groovy little tune everyone should know…. (Thanks to Ian for sharing it with from his MP3 tracks)

Does anyone else just feel like you’re made out of ticky-tacky? Wouldn’t it be great to escape the ticky-tacky world of same-ness?? Where is that world anyway? Does it even exist?

22/09/08

No, no, no, no, no! I will not get out of bed this morning to go running… I am not flaming crazy!!! Hit that snooze button birdie!

17/09/08
Wearily dragged the protesting body out of bed this am at 5.15am to warm up before running, ran the full 4km without any stopping for breath; the first time have managed this! But I don’t feel any real sense of achievement as I was running fairly slowly to keep pace with my running buddies, who run slower than I do. Hazel has taken some running advice stating that should aim to run 5 times a week (not flaming likely, me old cockers!); incorporating endurance running (long distance but slower) and strength running (fast running but shorter distance). So I reckon for me, that means now including a long run of up to 7km but run slowly (maybe try this on Saturday) and a speed run of 4km like I did on the 8^th. This is week 5 since I started running – so I should definitely be running longer distances now.
 
Yesterday I helped to facilitate a resuscitation training course with a Paediatrician for the emergency nurses in the hospital. Planning training here is simple, it’s very easy to put on paper aims and objectives, devise activities for learning etc; but when it comes to putting it into practice boy-oh-boy can it all go belly-up! In England we are so used to some kind of decorum in any training experience; the trainer is seen as the source of knowledge, is there to control the group and (generally) listened to. Maybe it’s just the language barrier, but here it can all get a bit rowdy. Everyone pitches in their own ideas and methods and keep harking back to how they were taught at school – seemingly afraid to change from this even if it was like 10 years ago! It’s incredibly frustrating to hear people focus on the insignificant details of a procedure and completely forget the bigger picture. For instance people are taught bizarre things like what side of the patient you should stand to give CPR (as in it should always be the left or right regardless of the situation), or which hand you should hold the thermometer in before taking a temperature when it actually matters not, and it wastes time to consider it as important! I have had a lot of time to learn so much more about training and learning, and when I am planning courses here I can picture in my head how well they would run in the UK – but know the course will be full of untold surprises when it comes to run here! I am getting even better at going with the flow and being flexible when plans change!

 Also getting quite talented at having peculiar conversations, like;
How does a snake pass waste products – do they have an anus??
If you had to lose your eyesight or hearing, which would you choose to keep and why?
If you had a magic power, what would it be? (Jen said she wanted the power to make people happy – that’s pretty cool).
(Obviously, I could be going a little crazy the longer I am out here (as the running and longing to socialise might confirm) but I am also preferring the simpler life of no TV, no newspapers, chilling on a hammock and contemplating the world at large – if it wasn’t for the fact I don’t really enjoy working here, I’d be tempted to stay…)

 12/09/08
Was even up before the alarm this morning to go running, that’s pretty amazing right!
Especially for me; notorious bed bunny. Pushed myself to run even further this morning, so ran passed the 2km mark of the RTC and on towards Mekong Blue. I knew I wouldn’t be able to run the full 6km, so I estimated the half-way mark and turned back home. I guess it was about 5km circuitous route. My wee legs are feeling it now and only managed the distance due to some really good tunes on the MP3 player… sadly the machine is about to pack up. Bugger. If I am to continue this new healthy and motivated lifestyle I’m gonna need to fork out for a new player. Thankfully I’ve saved a bit of cash this month (who needs food??) so should be able to afford a cheap thing next time I’m in PP. J

 Things are happening slowly here, we are planning a short training course for the teachers about using different teaching methodologies. The staff here have some good information, I am just trying to encourage them to use more interactive styles of teaching. I my head it could be fantastic – but I am also wary of pushing my ideas on them. On the other hand it’s my job here to advise on teaching methods, so my plan is to incorporate as many different methods while teaching the course as possible – this will allow the participants to see the methods in action, and also hopefully my facilitating colleagues (who have a lot of knowledge about the various methods, but who never seem to use them).

 10/09/08
Struggled with the run this morning, calf muscles felt really tight – maybe from running faster on Monday. Slept badly the night before, which also didn’t help matters! Even with groovy music playing, I only managed a 3km run… will I ever reach the 10km goal??

2^nd Sept 08
Whoever said exercise rejuvenated you when it was ‘that time of the month’ has not met me. Either that or they forgot to tell us is that it does energise you for like all of 15 minutes… Although I went running this morning, every fibre in my being was screaming blue murder at me WHY? WHY? WHY? Why are you getting me up at 5.30 in the morning? I still am not sure how I managed to get up, but come 5.45am I was out the house and plodding (no pounding this morning!) the river road with Delia. It was only a short run, just over 2km, but I eagerly looked forward to a day of promised energy. It’s 3.30pm now and I’m still waiting! Maybe if I hadn’t of gone running I’d be even more comatose now… The positive thing is that when I had finished running I wasn’t really out of breath and didn’t feel my heart was pounding all that much. I am definitely getting fitter and obviously am required to push the boundaries further.  

The streets of the Thong were exceptionally quiet this morning, hardly a soul out. Now that might not sound odd to you for 5.45am, but here most people are up at 4.30-5.00am, so today the world appear eerily sombre. The cool grey river is steadily receding, the rains dissipating slowly, meaning the days in-between are becoming pretty stifling.
I’ve been attempting to fine-tune my hammock securing skills; after an exponentially ridiculous amount of bruises, scrapes and blisters (yes, I fell out a few…) at present I have three sturdy (!?) hammocks under my house creating a splendid space to sit and receive the full benefit of any breeze. I just need more people to drop round for company… (Can you believe I just said that?!!!) Preferably people who like to talk, so I don’t have to say that much…