Slightly demented thoughts of the PinkFish...

27^th Aug

Ace-er-roonie! This morning got up at 5.30am and went out running on my own, ran nearly a full 4km with only a short break in the middle! Excellent, I must be getting fitter eh? It feels good. No, it feels great J

Course I probably spoilt all that good work by going to the market for breakfast and iced chocolate drink made with approx. 100mls of condensed milk! My excuse is I needed the sugar! It?s damn tasty I highly recommend it!

Now that I think about it, recently I have been doing a few things that are out of character for me? a) running, b)cooking (!) and c) being more sociable. Is it a full moon?? On Saturday the volunteers and Chantha held a group cooking lesson. We all got together and made a dish each and learnt from each other tips on how to improve etc. With Chantha?s help I made THE most fantabulously DELICIOUS ruby-murray I have ever tasted (well certainly tasted here at any rate!) Wow, I never knew I had it in me! I?ve the recipe too so hope I can make it again ? though probably not for a while as it takes about 3 hours to make!! Also I learnt how to make a Khmer desert from coconut milk and bananas which is really simple and absolutely yummy.
After cooking we then had a party to eat all the food and dance off all the calories. If all that socialising wasn?t enough am having a party at my house on Friday night!

I think all this behaviour is largely due to Chantha?s influence (she?s up in Stung Treng for 2 weeks from Phnom Penh) ? and thank heavens for that is all I can say. The woman is a godsend; things at work have been awful and Chantha being here has made life seem bearable once more. The Director at the school appears to be going out of his way to make this new project difficult, if things continue in this manner I can see myself coming home early as the project will be a joke. At the moment I?ve asked VSO to step in and see if they can resolve the underlying issues the Director has about the project. I'm in a complete dilemma about what to do. On one hand I know I?d still feel like an incredible failure coming home early, it?d be admitting defeat and feeling that I wasn?t good enough. When Chantha isn?t here, most of the time I feel like shit. The frustration at work completely gets me down; I start to beat myself up about what else I could/should/would be doing even though logically I know it won?t be achieved without the support of the Director. With this in mind, can I be satisfied with the very minor successes during my time here, and keep on banging my head against the proverbial brick wall?
 
On the other hand; surely life is too precious to be spending like this? Shouldn?t I just accept that this situation is out of my control; I am not in a position to challenge his power and I?m not willing to reduce myself to corruption and bribery to make the Director happy (as someone has suggested to me but which I have very strong moral feeling about). Maybe the time has come to accept that I have given it my best shot; that I cannot change the political situation at the school, that the school is not ready to work with a volunteer yet and there would be no shame in leaving early.
 
One of these days I will need to jump off the fence and take one of the above routes? but until then, I?m gonna enjoy my post run euphoria, wait to see what impact the programme office has on the Directors behaviour and enjoy the party on Friday night.
Till then dear friends, if any of you have any advice I?m willing to listen to anything!
 

20^th Aug 08That was the sound of me this morning at 6am. (For those of you with dirty minds – pull your thoughts out of the gutter plleeease!)
I was out running.
Yes, you did read correctly….  RUNNING. A marathon is being held in Siem Riep in December and lots of the volunteers are entering to raise money for VSO. Even though I might not enter the marathon, I am taking this opportunity to get motivated, energised and fit. (Yes, I am probably crazy, but there are no white coats here to commit me.)
So three of us met up this am sporting fitness clobber and dental white runners, and off we went pounding the streets of Stinky Trong. I reckon I managed maybe 1¼ km of actual running / jogging and the rest fast walking, then followed this with a short bicycle ride (to steady my jelly-legs!). I feel quite energised now (though remain unconvinced how long this will last!!), also, can claim uplifting morale points for doing much needed exercise (can I have double choc spread on baguette for lunch now??).
I could do with some running tips if anyone has them (Gavin Wilson???) and I will try keep you posted on how well (or how badly!) I am doing! If anyone wants to send over sweets as messages of encouragement – obviously I won’t turn them down….

 

5^th Aug
Ok, remember that completely sane dream I had about the toe chomping lizards?  Well guess what me old fruities??? Its only frickin true!! AAARRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Yes I was happily sitting in my office yesterday when my eyes catch some movement on the floor. It’s a dark and lengthy lizard scuttling with intention towards my barefooted peepsies. Spooky state of affairs this. I really did check down and make sure all the little piglets were present and correct (which they are, don’t fret!). Mind you if it had eaten my toes then I might well have been swept into the arms of a stunning man by now…..
Quick, quick, kick those shoes off and cover my toes in crickets….

 Other than that things are going relatively smoothly here in the ‘Thong’ (this place is accumulating aliases like bees on honey). The days tick on by without too much stress or altercations. I am busy preparing for the new project which is due to start in September, running training sessions on clinical skills and preparing workshops for the teaching staff here about teaching methodologies. It’s kind of strange to think that I won’t be here for most of the new project, so most of the work I’ll be doing is preparation. It must be a sign that I’m not too disappointed by this – although perhaps when it gets nearer the time to coming home, I will not want to go.

 We have had mucho grande rain here over the past few days, so the winter jammies and blanket have been pulled out again to keep the chill out. The market has been quite flooded on some days and people are predicting big flood is the rains continue. The river is certainly extremely high – higher than I’ve ever seen it before.

 Wee Tink is doing her bit to ward of the cold by acting as my hot water bottle, snuggling up to me at night – bless ‘er soul. Doglet, after weeks of being confined to outside after going for the cat, has decided she prefers it outside and gets antsy if she’s inside for too long! I am also securing homes for the menagerie when I leave – as I try the responsible pet owner thing.
Doglet is going back from whence she came – Mekong Blue. The two kittens have already gone to Chan’s house, where he is trying to convert them to a rice diet.  Despite the fact I didn’t want them in the first place, of course they were starting to nestle into a little place in my heart, so when it came to handing them over and seeing disappear into the horizon in a wee box perched precariously on a moto, I have to admit I felt bad. Must be like saying goodbye to your kids when they leave home. There’s an empty place in the home, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

 So it just leaves Stinker-roonie to sort out. I’d actually love to bring her home with me – because she is a proper house cat, I think she’d tolerate England well, and I’ve gotten really attached to her. But no doubt she’ll have to stay here; either back to Malin, or with a new volunteer. I could throw her a farewell party eh? Get in some tins of Whiska’s and having a rocking time??